Window to the Soul

If eyes are windows of the soul, the diary of Richard Rogers is a window into a Puritan heart.

John W. Cowart, ed., Seeking a Settled Heart: The 16th Century Diary of Puritan Richard Rogers, pp. 61-62, 66, 114, 117:

August 18, 1587. I have long been troubled by my want of knowledge, but I see that I have not cause of grief from thence only. But I and my friend[63], falling yesternight into a special conference about our estate, I found that much decay of care, zeal, and watchfulness is grown uppon me. For times have been when I was no sooner risen from bed and board but I was immediately with the Lord in meditation about my self, or seeking the good of some others, or in company profitable.

As for dealings in the world about commodities or further licentiousness in things unlawful, I weaned my self from them, and had no liking of many things which I see many people to go after and godliness to be meanly followed. This I have seen, though hardly I could yield or consent to it, and that any good means were neglected by me. Now I see that these have been the cause, and that very justly, why I have seen my study go so ill forward, and so small blessing to have been granted me therein. I see also that for these causes my God hath taken from me much comfort, and my gift in conference is much abated.

We complain that many things are amiss in our lives, but we can see no cause for it. But this is a very common thing with good men that when they come to have dealings, occupyings (jobs), and families, much of their delight is employed uppon them which was wont to be given to the Lord, and yet all was thought to be too little. And the Apostle, in I Corinthians 7, hath taught us that as single men bestow all their care on how they may please the Lord, so the married men have commonly their care, without especial grace, on how they may grow on togither and prosper. By means whereof coldness and negligence grows upon them before they be aware.

Besides, we may observe by experience that even the most zealous people do somewhat, in time, decline and wax remiss in caring for the matters of God. So that no prayer may be more meet and right for a good Christian than this -- that God would keep us in our age from the corruptions of the times and of the world.

For full soon a man falls to be like others, and there is great force and strength in the times and persons with whom we live.

When we enjoy our peace, liberty, and other commodities uppon such conditions as the times do often offer unto us, it is to be feared that we yield to some things that we should not.

For mine own part I see cause to fear this in my self, and I hope I will look more diligently to my self than I have done and wean my self from some lawful profiles and pleasures, so as to be much more conscious of such things as be unlawful, yea even of my thoughts which delight in things that ought not to be.

[63] Probably [Ezekiel] Culverwell.

Oct. 30, 1587. Among other meditations, this was one in the this month. That I behold how graciously the Lord hath hedged me in on every side with that sweet knowledge of His will, in comparison to that which I was likely to have attained to otherwise. He hath given me other blessings, good will, and a good name with the godlier sort of people, and communion with them. And He hath given such manifold comfort in my life, and with His people, and with liberty in my ministry.

May 26, 1590...My mind hath very heavenly been exercised in considering both by meditation, by sing Psalm. 119:14, 15, 16, and by, conference, of God's goodness in cheering our hearts with the bottomless and unexpressable treasure of His word, and feeling of His favor, and enjoying of His benefits.

He will condescend to such as we are. He will have us not to taste barely, but plentifully to digest, many comfortable pleasures, and that daily.

And he maketh godliness the pleasantest delight to His people, which to the world is most irksome and bitter.

July 25, 1590...This evening, walking and considering how I had been wont, many years agone, to muse, with relenting, on God's love and kindness, which with much comfort I have long enjoyed, it grieved me not a little to think how new times offering new occasions have won out, in great part my meltings of heart.

These feelings, with sighs and complaints, were more sweet to me than honey.

With tears I desired that I might sometimes before bed recover that sweet recourse to God.

For though many good duties are performed by occasion of keeping a family, more than were, in house and out, before marriage, yet I would that I might continue sometimes that seasoning of my mind on evens as then.[122]

[122] At a later date there were added the words some times I did...Think I on them oft at Bed, winter.