How Then Shall We Live, According to a Puritan

Richard Rogers, "Seven Treatises":

Sundry necessary observations for a Christian, fit also to meditate upon. 

1. That we keep a narrow watch over our hearts, words, and deeds continually. 

2. That with all care the time be redeemed, which hath been idly, carelessly, and unprofitably spent. 

3. That once in the day at the least private prayer and meditation be used.

4. That care be had to do, and receive good in company.

5. That our family be with diligence and regard instructed, watched over and governed.

6. That no more time or care be bestowed in matters of the world, then must needs.

7. That we stir up ourselves to liberality to God's Saints.

8. That we give not the least bridle to wandering lusts and affections.

9. That we prepare ourselves to bear the cross, by what means it shall please God to exercise us.

10. That we bestow some time not only in mourning for our own sins, but also for the sins of the time and age wherein we live.

11. That we look daily for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, for our full deliverance out of this life.

12. That we use (as we shall have opportunity, at least as we shall have neccessity) to acquaint our selves with some godly and faithful person, with whom we may confer of our Christian estate, and open our doubts, to the quickening up of Gods graces in us.

13. That we observe the departure of men our of this life, their mortality, the vanity and alteration of things below, the more to condemn the world, and to continue our longing after the life to come. And that we meditate and muse often of our own death, and going out of this life, how we must lie in the grave, all our glory put off; which will serve to beat down the pride of life that is in us.

14. That we read somewhat daily of the holy Scriptures, for the further increase of our knowledge, if it may be.

15. That we enter into covenant with the Lord to strive against all sin, and especially against the special sins and corruptions of our hearts and lives, wherein we have most dishonored the Lord, and have raised up most guiltiness to our own consciences, and that we carefully see our covenant be kept and continued.

16. That we mark how sin dieth and is weakened in us, and that we turn not to our old sins again, but wisely avoid all occasions to sin.

17. That we fall not from our first love, but continue still our affections to the liking of Gods word, and all the holy exercises of religion diligently hearing it, and faithfully practicing the same in our lives and conversations: that we prepare our selves before we come, and meditate and confer of that we hear, either by our selves, or with other: and so mark our daily profiting in religion.

18. That we be often occupied in meditating on Gods benefits and works, and sound forth his praises for the same.

19. That we exercise our faith by taking comfort and delight in the great benefit of our redemption by Christ, and the fruition of Gods presence, in his glorious and blessed kingdom.

20. Lastly, that we make not these holy practices of repentance common in time, nor use them for course.

Worship on Vacation

Scottish Directory for Family Worship:

XIV. When persons of divers families are brought together by Divine Providence, being abroad upon their particular vocations, or any necessary occasions; as they would have the Lord their God with them whithersoever they go, they ought to walk with God, and not neglect the duties of prayer and thanksgiving, but take care that the same be performed by such as the company shall judge fittest. And that they likewise take heed that no corrupt communication proceed out of their mouths, but that which is good, to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers.

Douglas Comin, Returning to the Family Altar: A Commentary and Study Guide on the Directory for Family Worship, pp. 50-51:

Do your devotional habits change when you are travelling or on holiday? It is not uncommon for families to set aside their regular patters or routines when they are outside of their ordinary surroundings. But why should this be? Does the Lord deserve less honour when business or recreation call us away from our homes? Do we have less need of His daily provision of grace? Do His commandments include a proviso that they cease to apply to our lives when we are away from our dwellings? The authors of the Directory saw the need to admonish families who found themselves "abroad upon their particular vocations, or any necessary occasions" not to neglect their spiritual duties. It is hypocrisy to desire the Lord's blessing upon our travels and activities, while ignoring Him and neglecting His worship until we return home.

The primary focus of this section of the Directory is upon the providential meeting of several Christian families who happen to be in the same place while travelling away from home. The principles governing the conduct of such families are somewhat different from those given previously. The unexpected nature of a chance meeting of Christian families under such circumstances put their joining together for worship in a different light than if they had set out to form a clique within the bounds of their home church. They should, therefore, thank God for His provision upon their journey and purpose to unite for prayer and thanksgiving, under the leadership of whomever is judged fittest by the whole company. Yet they should take care that their conversations are designed to edify and administer grace to one another.

Whether at home or abroad, public worship and the privileges of private and family devotions will be the first concern and the most fervent desire of those who truly walk with God. They will count nothing more grievous than to be separated from the fellowship of the saints by necessary travels. They will desire to teach their children that the Lord never ceases to watch over His saints, and the saints never cease to depend upon or delight in His daily blessings. Children who are raised in a home where family worship is thus loved and consistently maintained will carry the legacy of household devotion with them when they are blessed with families of their own. They will cherish the gathering together of God's people and they will seek out godly preachers to instruct and encourage them in their faith. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

Children Sing Psalms

1650 Scottish Metrical Psalter, Psalm 148:

11 Kings of the earth, all nations,
princes, earth's judges all:
12 Both young men, yea, and maidens too,
old men, and children small.
13 Let them God's name praise; for his name
alone is excellent:
His glory reacheth far above
the earth and firmament.

One of the special blessings of Biblical psalmody is that it is intended for all -- the whole family, as well as the whole congregation. Children too may and ought to sing the songs of Zion, that is, Word of God.

Joel R. Beeke, "Psalm Singing in Calvin and the Puritans," in Joel R. Beeke and Anthony T. Selvaggio, eds., Sing A New Song: Rediscovering Psalm Singing for the Twenty-First Century, pp. 22-23:

Calvin felt so strongly about psalm singing that early on he introduced it into his Geneva school. Students were required at the Academy of Geneva to "exercise themselves in singing psalms" every day after the noon meal.30 Calvin's goal was to enable children to sing psalms at school, church, and home so that they could help their parents learn to sing them also.31 Calvin wrote, "If some children, whom someone has practiced beforehand in some modest church song, sing in a loud and distinct voice, the people listening with complete attention and following in their hearts what is sung by mouth, little by little each one will become accustomed to sing with the others."32

30. Theodore Gerold, Les plus anciennes melodies de l'Eglise protestante de Strasbourg et leurs auteurs (Paris: Librairie Felix Alcan, 1928), 15.
31. [Michael] Lefebvre, Singing the Songs of Jesus, 13 [actually the reference is to p. 22]
32. CO 10:12

Jacobus Koelman, The Duties of Parents, p. 59:

63. Children must also sing psalms. In this connection, it is useful for them to know enough about music to sing the psalm tunes without assistance....Convey to them in all sincerity, from heart to heart, what the psalmist is telling us in the psalms that they are memorizing and what he teaches us, so they may also understand what they have committed to memory and what they sing. Bring up the words of those psalms on various occasions, and show your children how they can make use of them. They ought to know the following psalms: 1, 2, 6, 8, 15, 16, 19, 23, 25, 32, 45, 51, 72, 84, 90, 91, 100, 103, 111, 116, 130, 139, 145, 146, 148, 149, 150.

Joel Beeke, Family Worship:

Sing simple psalms, if you have young children. In choosing Psalms to sing, look for songs that children can easily master, and songs of particular importance for them to know. Choose songs that express the spiritual needs of your children for repentance, faith, and renewal of heart and life; songs that reveal God’s love for His people, and the love of Christ for the lambs of His flock; or that remind them of their covenant privileges and duty. The words should be simple and plain, and the tune easy to sing. For example, in The Psalter see No. 53, “The Lord’s My Shepherd, I’ll Not Want.” The text is simple enough for any child who has learned to talk; there are only three words of more than two syllables (righteousness, overflows, forevermore). Words such as righteousness, goodness, and mercy should be pointed out and explained before hand. Don’t forget to begin by telling the children that a shepherd is someone who takes care of the sheep he owns and loves! It is unwise to assume that such things are plain enough in themselves.

W.W. Lawrence, "The Psalms and the Young," in John McNaugher, ed., The Psalms in Worship, pp. 363, 367-368:

Give the Psalter songs a chance, and God's way will be vindicated....The young appreciate the songs of God....As the Saviour took the little ones in His arms, saying, "Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of heaven," so the Psalter hymns gather young men and maidens, and children small, into the song of praise, sweeping their voices and hearts into the anthem, saying, Suffer the young to voice His inspired word, for of such is the kingdom of praise.

A Mother's Heritage

Thomas Manton once wrote, "Families are societies that must be sanctified to God as well as Churches; and the governors of them have as truly a charge of the souls that are therein, as pastors have of the Churches....Especially women should be careful of this duty [of training and catechizing children in the true religion]; because as they are most about their children, and have early and frequent opportunities to instruct them, so this is the principal service they can do to God in this world, being restrained from more publick work."

The importance of the role of mothers in the care of the souls of children should never be underestimated. That is why, I am pleased to recommend the blog of a dear friend of mine: A Mother's Heritage by Mrs. Jenny Ervin. My wife Jessica, and Jenny, have been friends for almost two decades, and I have known her husband and my good friend and former roommate Steve for almost 20 years as well. Steve and I left North Carolina together and drove to Texas 16 years ago, where we both got married to our respective Southern Belles. Readers will certainly be interested to read the story of the Ervin courtship and marriage here. Today the Ervins are blessed with 6 living children outside the womb, one on the way, and four who never saw the light of day but have gone to be with the Lord. Yet I would like to highlight this particular blog not because of the ties of friendship but because it is a valuable contribution to mothers everywhere who are in need of spiritual and practical encouragement in the precious work to which they are called.

A Mother's Heritage was just launched last month, but already contains a rich storehouse of wisdom on matters ranging from homeschooling and child-rearing to miscarriage and depression, important issues for all of us to consider and deal with, but especially so for mothers. Jenny freely confesses that she is a

struggling sinner, who looks to the Lord whose mercies are new every morning. I have suffered from depression, am not a morning person (really, not a morning person) and have a huge bag of unmatched socks in my closet. I am in the journey right along with other moms of many. I am an ordinary mom, but have an extraordinary God!

This is not a supermom blog. This is a not a blog of a perfect mother with a perfect family. If that is what you are looking for then you will be sorely disappointed.

It is a person with this sort of humility with whom one is willing to laugh and cry, and Jenny invites readers to share the journey of a Christian mother with her. I am thankful for her as a friend, and I am sure that others will be blessed to read along with her, and learn as she is learning, how to glorify God as a mother to the good of those around her. It is the better part of wisdom to seek out those who have walked the walk. I am privileged to recommend the blog of a godly mother to you, dear reader, and am sure that those who follow along will be blessed. I am thankful for mothers, including my own mother, and my wonderful wife. We all need encouragement, and Jenny's blog is a true encouragement to mothers everywhere.

The Lord's-Day in a Christian Household

William M. Hetherington, The Constitution of the Family Circle in Family Life; or, Masters and Servants as They Were, Are, and Ought to Be by the Rev. W.M. Hetherington, D.D., LL.D. and the Rev. Andrew Thomson, D.D., pp. 37-38:

The Lord's-Day in a Christian Household

It is a beautiful and a holy sight to see a truly Christian household on the Lord's day. Parents, children, and servants have knelt together in family worship, praying for the presence and the blessing of God in his house of prayer. They have, with quiet activity, made their simple arrangements that as many as possible may attend public worship, with such alternate changes as enable all to attend on some portion of the day. Evening has come. Some of the members of the family -- father, sons, or daughters -- have given an hour to Sabbath-school teaching. Others, the mother and other daughters, have given that hour to the instruction of the domestic servants. It is now nearly time for family worship. All are again assembled; but before beginning that sacred duty, the father devotes some time to catechising both the children and servants -- ascertaining what attention they have paid to public worship -- how they understood, and how much they have remembered of the sermon, giving such explanations and instructions as may be needed and beneficial on these topics, and on the portion of Scripture as it is read; then in solemn, earnest, affectionate, hopeful prayer commends the whole household to the care of their one heavenly Father, in the name of the one Redeemer, and by the one Holy Spirit.

Father of Fools

Edward Lawrence (1623-1695) was a well-respected Puritan minister. He was among those who contributed to the Morning Exercises at Cripplegate against Popery, his sermon being on the subject of transubstantiation. He was a close friend of Philip Henry and assisted at the ordination of Matthew Henry. When he died, Nathaniel Vincent preached his funeral sermon, The Perfect Man Described in His Life and End (1696), describing him thus: "I do believe there was not a man upon earth that better deserved to be, than our Mr. Edward Lawrence." Yet for all that, this father of nine, who suffered privation when he was ejected from his pulpit for nonconformity, considered himself to be, like Eli, a "father of fools," because of the conduct of two of children. He was lead in 1681 to publish his sermons on Prov. 17.25 entitled Parents' Groans Over Their Wicked Children, republished in 2003 by Soli Deo Gloria Publications as Parent's Concerns for their Unsaved Children. It begins with a heartfelt appeal to his children, that they might be reformed by the Word of God, "but if you hate to be reformed (God forbid) I shall mourn till I die for the loss of children, but you will be tormented forever for the loss of God." The treatise appeals to both godly parents to make use of right means and ungodly children to seek the Lord while he may be found.

I do not know what became of his wayward children, whether they ended up like Hophni and Phinehas or returned like prodigals to the Lord. Edward had a younger brother, William, who funeral sermon was preached by Philip Henry in 1695. William's son (Edward's nephew), Samuel Lawrence (1661-1712), was, like his father and uncle, a godly man. Matthew Henry preached his funeral sermon in 1712 and gave an account of his life, quoting also very movingly from Philip Henry's funeral sermon for his father. When it came to describing Edward, Matthew had this to say:

...his father's elder brother was Mr Edward Lawrence, an eminent minister in Shropshire first, and afterwards in London. A man of great integrity, and a substantial judicious preacher; who, to keep the peace of his conscience, left a good living, and threw himself and his numerous family upon divine Providence.

His book called 'Christ's Power over Bodily Diseases,' has been and will be of great use to many for their comfort in sickness, and their improvement of it. This nephew of his in many things resembled him much, and the comfort he had in him was the more valued by him, because of the great grief he had in some of his own children, which he let the world know something of in a book he published, called, 'Parents' Groans over Wicked Children.' He died in November, 1695.

Whether or not his erring children returned to the Lord, Edward Lawrence speaks a word even today to both parents and children that is a blessing to many, a comfort and encouragement to some, and a serious warning and reproof to others. His counsel is born of experience, and comes from loving the Lord above family relations, and thus speaking the truth to them in love, counting their souls as so very precious as to speak the truth and hide it not.

MHCC 19: The Most Profitable Way of Catechizing

Matthew Henry writes on Ex. 13.14-16:

Further directions concerning the catechising of their children, and all those of the rising generation, from time to time, in this matter. It is supposed that, when they saw all the firstlings thus devoted, they would ask the meaning of it, and their parents and teachers must tell them (v. 14-16) that God's special propriety in their firstborn, and all their firstlings, was founded in his special preservation of them from the sword of the destroying angel. Being thus delivered, they must serve him. Note, 1. Children should be directed and encouraged to ask their parents questions concerning the things of God, a practice which would be perhaps of all others the most profitable way of catechising; and parents must furnish themselves with useful knowledge, that they may be ready always to give an answer to their enquiries. If ever the knowledge of God cover the earth, as the waters do the sea, the fountains of family-instruction must first be broken up.

MHCC 8: He Who Sends Mouths Will Send Meat

Writing on Gen. 30.25-26, Matthew Henry says:

Note, Those that trust in God, in his providence and promise, though they have great families and small incomes, can cheerfully hope that he who sends mouths will send meat. He who feeds the brood of the ravens will not starve the seed of the righteous.

It is an English proverb that can be traced to the 16th century, if not earlier, to which he refers: "God who sends mouths will send meat."

Elsewhere, on Psalm 127, he writes:

Children are a heritage, and a reward, and are so to be accounted, blessings and not burdens; for he that sends mouths will send meat if we trust in him.

And on Jeremiah 35.12-19, he writes:

Note, Sometimes those that have the smallest estates have the most numerous progeny; but he that sends mouths will be sure to send meat.

Trusting that it is God alone who opens and closes the womb, and that his blessings are blessings indeed, remember that God never gives more than we can handle, but if we walk in the path of obedience and righteousness, God who is faithful will provide all that we need, and even more than we could think to ask.

Deliverance, Comfort, Safety, and Sure-Hope

John Penry (1559-1593) is Wales' most famous Christian martyr. He labored to preach the gospel to his fellow Welshmen, and was thought by Anglican authorities to be the author of the Martin Marprelate tracts, although modern scholarship leans towards identifying Job Throckmorton as the primary author. He died convicted of sedition for private, unpublished papers that were found in his possession, and was speedily executed, without being permitted to see his family, on the afternoon May 29, 1593. No bell was tolled for him, and his burial place is unknown. For a good biography of his life, I recommend reading John Waddington, John Penry: Pilgrim Martyr, 1559-1593; for a fascinating dramatic presentation of his final years, consider reading I.D.E. Thomas (himself a Welshman), God's Outsider: John Penri: a Puritan Martyr: a play.

As he told his young daughters in a letter, he had no patrimony or dowry for them, except a Bible for each of them. Few men have left a better legacy behind to their families though. His wife was named Helen or Eleanor (authorities differ) Godly (yes that was her maiden name), and his daughters were named Deliverance (thought to be so named because she was born soon after the English victory over the Spanish Armada in 1588), Comfort, Safety and Sure-Hope. He wrote letters to his wife and daughters from his prison cell before he died. What follows is the letter he wrote to his young daughters.

To my Daughters when they come to years of discretion and understanding :—

My dear and tenderly beloved daughters:— Deliverance, comfort, safety, and sure hope. The God of Heaven, who is my God and your's, in Jesus Christ, our strong Redeemer, bless you, both bodies and souls, with the saving grace of His Spirit, even for ever and ever; and grant, that to my eternal comfort, I may meet with you in the kingdom of heaven. Give ear now unto my counsel, which, in the name of my God, I, your father—now in bonds for the testimony of Jesus Christ—give unto you; and be sure to keep the same, that the blessing of the Lord may be upon you for evermore. First, know the God of your father and serve Him even in all those duties which He requireth of you in His blessed written word. You must search for all His commandments, and practice them all. Remember, and believe assuredly, that salvation is perfectly to be had by Jesus Christ and none other. If you will be partakers of this salvation, you must assuredly believe all your sins to be forgiven you, for His sake. If you do this, oh ! blessed shall your reward be in the kingdom of heaven. You shall live there in all joy with Jesus Christ; His blessed angels and saints, with me also, your father in this life. Whereas, otherways, you shall never see me, to your comfort, in that blessed life, whereof your poor mother and I am, by the mercies of God, most undoubtedly assured. Nay, you shall be everlastingly cast forth from the presence of God, who is most fearful. Great troubles you are likely to see and sustain for the truth of God ; but a blessed issue thereof shall you have if you continue to the end.

The troubles shall be, as now they are, about matters which they would, by the great subtilty of Satan, account but small—yea, trifling. Such as the mingling of the sincerity of Christ's truth, with the subverting of the same, unto the polluted institutions and ceremonies of Antichrist; and thus, as the serpent beguiled Eve with her subtilty, the minds of men, in this age, are corrupt from the simplicity that is in Christ. But, my daughters, take you heed of this. Have you nothing to do with the ordinances and inventions of Antichrist's kingdom, as are retained — such as Lord Archbishops, Archdeacons, Chancellors, Canons, Prebends, Spiritual Courts, and the mingling of the clean and unclean. For these, and such like, were added, as mere inventions of Satan, unto Christ's holy Word since the mystery of iniquity began to work.f Of such inventions, mingled with the truth, doth the Man of Sin consist. Now, my daughters, you and all others, the members of Christ, are bound not to have any fellowship with the ordinances of such abomination.

If it be so that we have no lawful use of the ceremonies of Moses' law, which were sometime the Lord's own sacred ordinances, ordained by His faithful servant, how can we have any communion with the most fearful constitutions of the kingdom of Antichrist, the great enemy of Jesus Christ? No, no, my daughters. Christ Jesus, by His death, hath freed us from all legal and spiritual antichristian bondage, and He hath redeemed us to walk in His sacred ways and ordinances. I charge you, then, my beloved, to be subject unto all that holy order which Christ Jesus hath appointed for the ruling of His church and members here upon earth; for we must walk in Christ Jesus as we have received Him. Now, if you suffer as you ought to suffer, either for submitting yourselves unto and labouring to enjoy those holy ways of Christ, or in refusing to be servants of corruptions, then the Lord will acknowledge you to be His before His Father and His holy presence; and happy will it be that ever I was your father on earth. Whereas, on the other side, you shall think it hard condition to suffer with Christ, and be offended at Him, then woe is me, that the doom of the wicked is provided for you.

Wherefore, again, my daughters, even my tenderly beloved daughters, regard not the world nor anything that is therein. Look only upon the durable crown of reward that lasteth for ever more, which the Lord Jesus offereth unto you, and unto all, if you suffer with them. I, your father, you have as a witness before you in the enduring for these six years past some part of these sufferings. Your mother hath been joyfully partaker with me of them. Ever since the Lord joined me and her together, all of you have been born in this time of your mother's testimony and mine; wherefore, I am in good hope that the Lord will give you grace to follow us, your poor parents, in that which is acceptable in His sight.

In other things, for the direction of your private lives, I refer you to your mother, who hath been a most faithful sister and comfortable yoke-fellow to me in all my trials and sufferings, and, for your comfort and mine, hath taken bitter journeys by sea and land.

Repay her, then, by your dutifulness and obedience, some part of that kindness which (one may be sure) you owe unto her. Be obedient to her in word and in deed, and miss not to be the staff of her age, who is now the only stay and support that is left unto you in your youth and infancy. I now leave four of you upon her, having nothing to speak of to leave her and you, save only that everlasting and durable fountain of the Lord's blessed providence and promises; who relieveth the fatherless and the widow.

The eldest of you is not yet four years old, and the youngest not four months, and therefore, every way, shall you be indebted to that mother who will think it no intolerable burden to bear, and take the care of you all.

Be willing, therefore, under her hand, to undergo any labour and travail. Be ruled, in all things, by her direction; especially in the bestowing of yourselves, if the Lord will ever grant you the favour to enter into the holy estate of matrimony. If she will place you in any service, think not honest labour too mean for you, nor wholesome diet too hard, nor clothing that may cover you and keep you warm over base for you; but bless God that He provideth you food and raiment. By reason of the iniquity of that antichristian kingdom, I could not make, as I was willing, any provision for you; yet I am assured, that my God, in whose service I am now employed against Babel and her daughters, will exceedingly provide for your mother and you; and when you shall find that the Lord doth this, according to His blessed promises made unto me, your poor father, I charge you that you profess and acknowledge this favour of His before all the world, if need so require; saying, the loving kindness of the Lord is for ever upon those that fear Him; and the truth of His promises upon His children's children, of them that keep His commandments and remember His ordinances to do them. Whatsoever becometh of you in outward regard, keep yourselves in this poor church, where I leave you, or in some other holy society of the saints. I doubt not but my God will stir up many of His children to shew kindness unto my faithful sister and wife, your mother; and also unto you, even for my sake. Although you should be brought up in never so hard service, yet, my dear children, learn to read, that you may be conversant, day and night, in the word of the Lord. If your mother be able to keep you together, I doubt not but you shall learn both to write and read by her means. / have left you four Bibles, each of you one; being the sole and only patrimony or dowry that I have for you. I beseech you, and charge you, not only to keep them, but to read in them day and night; and before you read, and also, in and after reading, be earnest in prayer and meditation, that you may undci stand and perform the good way of your God. Frequent the holy exercises and meetings of the saints in any case; for there is the Lord most powerful in the holy ministry of His word; and you must remember that the Lord regardeth, loveth, and blesseth the public worship more than any private exercise of religion whatsoever.

Frame yourselves to be humble, lowly, meek, and patient toward all men. Reward no man evil for evil, either in word or in deed, but overcome evil with goodness ; f with patience, modesty, and sobriety. Above all things, shew yourselves loving and kind unto all the saints of God; being ready to lay down your lives to do good unto the Lord's poor church, and members here upon earth. Whatsoever you have, bestow somewhat thereof for the relief of the church. Diminish from your diet and apparel, that you may bestow the same upon the church, and members of Christ, for the maintenance of the true worship and service of God among them. If you live in abundance, see that the true members of Christ want not. Be always partakers of the afflictions of the Gospel with them.

Labour for true humility; beat down the pride which is naturally in all flesh. Give not yourselves to delight in any vanity of apparel, of words, or gesture. Ever restrain your affections betimes, and acquaint yourselves only with those thoughts that may humble you; work a distaste of that which is earthly, and a longing desire unto the kingdom of heaven.

Shew kindness unto the kindred whereof you are come; both of your father's side and mother's also; but especially, if ever you be able, shew all forwardness in doing good unto my people and kindred in the flesh.

The Welsh nation, now for many hundred years past have been under the Lord's rod; but I trust the time is come wherein He will shew mercy unto them, by causing the true light of the Gospel to shine among them; and, my good daughters, pray you earnestly unto the Lord—when you come to know what prayer is—for this; and be always ready to shew yourselves helpful unto the least child of that poor country, that shall stand in need of your loving support; in any case, repay the kindness, if you be able, which I owe unto my nearest kindred there ; as to my mother, brethren and sisters, &c., whom I am persuaded will be most kind towards you and your mother, unto their ability, even for my sake; and be an especial comfort, in my stead, unto the grey hairs of my poor mother, whom the Lord used as the only means of my stay for me in the beginning of my studies, whereby I have come unto the knowledge of that most precious faith in Christ Jesus, in the defence whereof I stand at this present in the great joy of my soul, though in much outward discomfort.

Pray much and often for the prosperous reign and the preservation, body and soul, for her right excellent Majesty, my dread sovereign, Queen Elizabeth, under whose reign I have come unto this blessed knowledge and hope, wherein I stand. The Lord shew mercy unto her for it, both in this life and also in that great day.

Shew yourselves helpful and kind unto all strangers, and unto the people of Scotland, where I, your mother, and a couple of you, lived as strangers, and yet were welcome, and. found great kindness for the name of our God. Be tender-hearted towards the widow and the fatherless; both because the law of God and nature requireth this at your hands, and also because, for ought I know, I am likely to leave you fatherless, and your mother a widow.

Finally, my daughters—grow in all graces of knowledge and godliness in Christ Jesus. Believe and hope firmly in that salvation which is to be had by Him. Suffer affliction with Him in this poor church. Continue in holy fear unto the end ; then shall you and I have a blessed meeting in the great day of His appearance.

Thus have I unburdened my careful soul of some part of that great solicitude which every way I have of you, but especially of your salvation. I have written this in that scarcity of paper, ink, and time, that I could do it no otherwise than first it came into my mind, and set it down; and, therefore, it is neither so full, nor so profitable a counsel, as otherwise, upon better leisure, my God, I trust, would have enabled me to give unto you; but you may take instruction by it, I doubt not (my children), and follow it, that the blessing of God may light not only upon the posterity of Jonadab, the son of Recab, but also upon the children of John Penry, for the obedience that they have yielded unto their father's godly commandment and counsel. Thus while the poor Church of God lieth in ashes, sitting on the ground like a widow stretching out her hand to see if there be any comfort left for her soul, and complaining the spoil of me that was left is brought unto Babel; and the Lord saith, "behold, I will plead thy cause" (Jer. li, 36); whilst I, your poor father, from the bottom of my spirit and soul, am thus ready not only to be imprisoned, but even to die for the name and truth of the Lord Jesus, which I have maintained; and while I acknowledge, with a loud and triumphant voice, that the afflictions of this present life are not worthy of the glory which shall be revealed unto us. I betake you, my dear children, and your loving mother, unto the hands of my most merciful God, and unto your most undoubted and careful Redeemer in Jesus Christ our Lord, whom be blessed for ever and ever. Amen. Amen. Amen.

From close prison, with many tears, and yet in much joy of the Holy Ghost, this 10th of 4th month of April, 1593, your poor father here upon earth, most careful to be joined with you for evermore in the kingdom of Jesus Christ,

John Penry,

A poor witness in this life unto the right of Jesus Christ, and against the abominations of the Roman Babel.

That We Are Really, Which We Are Relatively

What a man does in secret reflects his true character. As Thomas B. Macaulay said, "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." J.C. Watts, Jr. put it another way: "Everyone tries to define this thing called Character. It's not hard. Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking."

Another measure is how a man behaves in his own household. No one knows our flaws, our weaknesses, our besetting sins, apart from God, better than our family members, those most close to us, who see us when we are "tired or worried or hungry" (C.S. Lewis). It is easy to be religious and upstanding around strangers and even friends, but much harder to exemplify the religious virtues of patience and love and longsuffering around those in our own home. Who we really are is reflected in how we are with our relations.

That is why Philip Henry, who spoke often of family religion, had a certain saying. His son Matthew, the famous Bible commentator, who was certainly in a position to know the true character of his father, wrote the following (J.B. Williams, ed., The Lives of Philip and Matthew Henry, Vol. 1, p. 69):

The Lord having built him up into a family, he was careful and faithful in making good his solemn vow at his ordination, that he and his house would serve the Lord. He would often say, -- That we are really which we are relatively. It is not so much what we are at church, as what we are in our families. Religion in the power of will be family religion. In this his practice was very exemplary; he was one that walked before his house in a perfect way, with a perfect heart, and therein behaved himself wisely. His constant care and prudent endeavour was not only to put away iniquity far from his tabernacle, but that where he dwelt, the word of Christ might dwell richly. If he might have no other church, yet he had a church in his house.

This saying comes from the Preface to the Reader of a work by George Swinnock, Heaven and Hell Epitomized (1663), found in his Works, Vol. 3, p. 219:

Exalt godliness in thy family. If once Christ be chief in thy heart, I am confident he will, to thy utmost power, be so in thy house -- that thou art really, which thou art relatively.

Cotton Mather's Household Rules

Cotton Mather wrote much on domestic concerns, including A Family Well-Ordered (a treatise on the duties of parents and the duties of children), Help for Distressed Parents (an essay designed to give counsel and comfort to godly parents who have ungodly children), and A Token for the Children of New England (following the example of James Janeway's Token, Mather compiled accounts of children who loved God and died young for consideration and encouragement to young people).

In his diary, he lays out ten rules for ordering his own household (he had 15 children) that have been often cited or alluded to. They were included as an appendix to William Scribner's Pray for Your Children (1873, reprinted in Naphtali Press' Anthology of Presbyterian & Reformed Literature, Vol. 4 (1991)), and elsewhere. However, the text reprinted there is put in the third person, modernized, revised (words changed) and abridged. The full, original text is rich and helpful to parents in his and our day, so I have reproduced the text here from the Diary itself (it can also be found in John Demos, Remarkable Providences: Readings on Early American History (1991), pp. 46-49:

Diary of Cotton Mather, 1681-1724, Vol. 1 (1681-1709), pp. 534-537:

Some Special Points, Relating To The Education Of My Children.

I. I pour out continual Prayers and Cries to the God of all Grace for them, that He will be a Father to my Children, and bestow His Christ and His Grace upon them, and guide them with His Councils, and bring them to His Glory.

And in this Action, I mention them distinctly, every one by Name unto the Lord.

II. I begin betimes to entertain them with delightful Stories, especially scriptural ones. And still conclude with some Lesson of Piety; bidding them to learn that Lesson from the Story.

And thus, every Day at the Table, I have used myself to tell a Story before I rise; and make the Story useful to the Olive Plants about the Table.

III. When the Children at any time accidentally come in my way, it is my custome to lett fall some Sentence or other, that may be monitory and profitable to them.

This Matter proves to me, a Matter of some Study, and Labour, and Contrivance. But who can tell, what may be the Effect of a continual Dropping?

IV. I essay betimes, to engage the Children, in Exercises of Piety; and especially secret Prayer, for which I give them very plain and brief Directions, and suggest unto them the Petitions, which I would have them to make before the Lord, and which I therefore explain to their Apprehension and Capacity. And I often call upon them; Child, Don't you forgett every Day, to go alone, and pray as I have directed you I

V. Betimes I try to form in the Children a Temper of Benignity. I putt them upon doing of Services and Kindnesses for one another, and for other Children. I applaud them, when I see them Delight in it; I upbraid all Aversion to it. I caution them exquisitely against all Revenges of Injuries. I instruct them, to return good Offices for evil Ones. I show them, how they will by this Goodness become like to the Good GOD, and His Glorious CHRIST. I lett them discern, that I am not satisfied, except when they have a Sweetness of Temper shining in them.

VI. As soon as tis possible, I make the Children learn to write. And when they can write, I employ them in Writing out the most agreeable and profitable Things, that I can invent for them. In this way, I propose to fraight their minds with excellent Things, and have a deep Impression made upon their Minds by such Things.

VII. I mightily endeavour it, that the Children may betimes, be acted by Principles of Reason and Honour.

I first begett in them an high Opinion of their Father's Love to them, and of his being best able to judge, what shall be good for them.

Then I make them sensible, tis a Folly for them to pretend unto any Witt and Will of their own; they must resign all to me, who will be sure to do what is best; my word must be their Law.

I cause them to understand, that it is an hurtful and a shameful thing to do amiss. I aggravate this, on all Occasions; and lett them see how amiable they will render themselves by well doing.

The first Chastisement, which I inflict for an ordinary Fault, is, to lett the Child see and hear me in an Astonishment, and hardly able to beleeve that the Child could do so base a Thing, but beleeving that they will never do it again.

I would never come, to give a child a Blow; except in Case of Obstinacy: or some gross Enormity.

To be chased for a while out of my Presence, I would make to be look'd upon, as the sorest Punishment in the Family.

I would by all possible Insinuations gain this Point upon them, that for them to learn all the brave Things in the world, is the bravest Thing in the world. I am not fond of proposing Play to them, as a Reward of any diligent Application to learn what is good; lest they should think Diversion to be a better and a nobler Thing than Diligence.

I would have them come to propound and expect, at this rate, / have done well, and now / will go to my Father; He will teach me some curious Thing for it. I must have them count it a Priviledge, to be taught; and I sometimes manage the Matter so, that my Refusing to teach them Something, is their Punishment.

The slavish way of Education, carried on with raving and kicking and scourging (in Schools as well as Families,) tis abominable; and a dreadful Judgment of God upon the World.

VIII. Tho' I find it a marvellous Advantage to have the Children strongly biased by Principles of Reason and Honour, (which, I find, Children will feel sooner than is commonly thought for:) yett I would neglect no Endeavours, to have higher Principles infused into them.

I therefore betimes awe them with the Eye of God upon them.

I show them, how they must love JESUS CHRIST; and show it, by doing what their Parents require of them.

I often tell them of the good Angels, who love them, and help them, and guard them; and who take Notice of them: and therefore must not be disobliged.

Heaven and Hell, I sett before them, as the Consequences of their Behaviour here.

IX. When the Children are capable of it, I take them alone, one by one; and after my Charges unto them, to fear God, and serve Christ, and shun Sin, / pray with them in my Study and make them the Witnesses of the Agonies, with which I address the Throne of Grace on their behalf.

X. I find much Benefit, by a particular Method, as of Cotechising the Children, so of carrying the Repetition of the public Sermons unto them.

The Answers of the Catechism I still explain with abundance of brief Quaestions, which make them to take in the Meaning of it, and I see, that they do so.

And when the Sermons are to be Repeated, I chuse to putt every Truth, into a Question, to be answered still, with, Yes, or, No. In this way I awaken their Attention, as well as enlighten their Understanding. And in this way I have an Opportunity, to ask, Do you desire such, or such a Grace of God? and the like. Yea, I have an Opportunity to demand, and perhaps, to obtain their Consent unto the glorious Articles of the New Covenant. The Spirit of Grace may fall upon them in this Action; and they may be siez'd by Him, and Held as His Temples, thro' eternal Ages.