A Preparative to Marriage

As far as I know it is not currently available to read online, but I highly recommend Henry Smith's sermon A Preparative to Marriage (found in the Works of Henry Smith, Vol. I) for both the married and the unmarried. Here are a few gems:

Therefore one saith, that marriage doth signify merry-age, because a play-fellow is come to make our age merry, as Isaac and Rebekah sported together. (p. 8)

Beasts are ordained for food, and clothes for warmth, and flowers for pleasure, but the wife is ordained for man; like little Zoar, a city of refuge to fly to in all his troubles, Gen. xix.20; and there is no peace comparable unto her but the peace of conscience. (p. 8)

To honour marriage more yet, or rather to teach the married how to honour one another, it is said that the wife was made of the husband's rib, Gen. ii.22; not of his head, for Paul calleth the husband the wife's head, Ephes. v. 23; not of the foot, for he must not set her at his foot. The servant is appointed to serve, and the wife to help. If she must not match with the head, nor stoop at the foot, where shall he set her then? He must set her at his heart, therefore she which should lie in his bosom was made in his bosom, and should be as close to him as his rib, of which she was fashioned. (p. 8)

Therefore one observeth, that concord is nothing but likeness; and all that strife is for unfitness, as in things when they fit not together, and in persons when they suit not one another. How was God pleased when he had found a king according to his own heart? 1 Sam. ii.35. So shall that man be pleased that finds a wife according to his own heart; whether he be rich or poor, his peace shall afford him a cheerful life, and teach him to sing, 'In love is no lack.' Therefore a godly man in our time thanked the Lord that he had not only given him a godly wife, but a fit wife; for he had said, not that she was the wisest, nor the holiest, nor the humblest, nor the modestest wife in the world, but the fittest wife for him in the world, which every man should think when that knot is tied, or else so oft as he seeth a better, he will wish that his choice were to make again. And he did thank God for sending him a fit wife; for if they be not like, they will not like. (p. 14)

If thou be learned, choose one that loveth knowledge; if thou be martial, choose one that loveth prowess; if thou must live by thy labour, choose one that loveth husbandry; for unless her mind stand with thy vocation, thou shalt neither enjoy thy wife nor thy calling. (p. 15)

In every state there is some one virtue which belongeth to that calling more than other; as justice unto magistrates, and knowledge unto preachers, and fortitude unto soldiers; so love is the marriage virtue which sings music to their whole life. (p. 22)

...the best policy in marriage is to begin well....To begin this concord well, it is necessary to learn one another's natures, and one another's affections, and one another's infirmities, because ye must be helpers, and ye cannot help unless you know the disease. (p. 23)

His first duty is called hearting, that is, hearty affection. As they are hand-fasted, so they must be heart-fasted; for the eye, and the tongue, and the hand, will be her enemies, if the heart be not her friend. As Christ draweth all the commandments to love, so I may draw all their duties to love, which is the heart's gift to the bride at her marriage. First, he must choose his love, and then he must love his choice. This is the oil which maketh all things easy. In Solomon's Song, which is nothing else but a description of Christ the Bridegroom, and the church his spouse, one calleth the other love, to shew that though both do not honour alike, yet both should love alike, which the man may do without subjection. (p. 24)

To her silence and patience she must add the acceptable obedience which makes a woman rule while she is ruled. (p. 30)